How did I come to this conclusion? My driving is deteriorating. I jumped two sets of lights in quick succession. Why? Because if you don’t go through amber lights at certain junctions it’ll be ten minutes before the light goes green again. Some of these road junctions are just too big and convoluted for words, but in my defence, I didn’t go through on red, and a lot of people do. I’ve seen more crashes in 12 months of driving out here than in over 20 years in the UK. Pop in a few roundabouts and a lot of the problems would go away overnight.
So yes, I’m starting to drive like an American. My neat, tidy, economical little Ford Focus has gone back to the car showroom in exchange for a convertible. Not for me, you understand, but for the man having a midlife crisis. I’m now stuck with a Honda Accord, which although not big by American standards, is really twice the size of what I actually need for the few miles I do each day.
I’ve got fed up of having to repeat myself six times when I politely ask for a glass of water (with a T) so I find myself asking for waugher when I want a drink. I realize our daughter starts school every Monday speaking the Queen’s English after a weekend at home with mum and dad, but by Friday, we have this little American kid in the house, who, like me, has gotten so fed up of having to repeat everything at school she just slips into this lazy Californian drawl….
I’ve got fed up of having to repeat myself six times when I politely ask for a glass of water (with a T) so I find myself asking for waugher when I want a drink. I realize our daughter starts school every Monday speaking the Queen’s English after a weekend at home with mum and dad, but by Friday, we have this little American kid in the house, who, like me, has gotten so fed up of having to repeat everything at school she just slips into this lazy Californian drawl….
The packet mix cookies she bakes for school functions no longer seem so unbearably sweet, in fact they are so nice I’ve just had two…
I’m suddenly concerned about the welfare of the KTLA 5 morning weather man. I miss him - he’s been off screen for ages and they say he has pneumonia but I’m starting to suspect something far more sinister. And what about poor Ginger Chan, the girl who does the traffic news – she’s had the longest pregnancy on record; is she ever going to give birth? Suddenly I care about these people whose lightweight news programme I used to so despise…..
And then last week we had a cold snap. It got down to below 65 degrees during the day. Brrr...I had to put a pair of socks on! That’s how soft I’ve become.
I pass houses on my morning walk dressed from top to toe in Christmas decorations - I no longer think how OTT; instead it inspires me to go home and create a winter wonderland on my balcony.
I pass houses on my morning walk dressed from top to toe in Christmas decorations - I no longer think how OTT; instead it inspires me to go home and create a winter wonderland on my balcony.
And even the grocery shopping doesn’t seem such a chore anymore. - even when disaster happens like it did last week at Fresh & Easy. I'd just self-checked out a large weekly shop when the computerized till broke down at the payment stage. At Fresh & Easy it’s all self-check out and you have to pack your shopping yourself which I’m sure is why no-one else ever shops there. It's always empty. Anyway, an assistant came over; had a look then called the supervisor who spent about ten minutes trying to sort the computer out. They both offered profound apologies but the outcome was that my shopping would have to be unpacked and rung up all over again on a different till. Can you imagine the furor this would have caused back home? Fresh & Easy is part of Tesco and if this had happened at my local Tesco on a Thursday morning back in the UK there would have been a riot! The queue behind me would have been huge and I’d have wanted the ground to swallow me up but here there wasn’t another frustrated customer in sight. And that’s when I knew I really had become acclimitised. I merely shrugged and said: “Don’t worry, you go ahead, not a problem, take your time….”
What’s happened to me? Soon I’ll have nothing left to blog about…no gripes or moans. Next I’ll be telling you we've become so integrated into American culture we had full Thanksgiving dinner with all the trimmings. Well we did actually, my sister was over and we had a very pleasant family meal. It was just like Christmas but without all the stress of having to get presents for everyone. Our turkey was delicious but pumpkin pie is definitely something you have to be spoon fed since birth to appreciate.....
But don't worry - my bubble hasn’t completely evaporated; I still don't find Two and a Half Men funny. But I did spot a Chihuahua in a Santa outfit and found myself thinking, gee that looks kinda cute…….
But don't worry - my bubble hasn’t completely evaporated; I still don't find Two and a Half Men funny. But I did spot a Chihuahua in a Santa outfit and found myself thinking, gee that looks kinda cute…….
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