'Tis the season to be jolly, and just like one of Santa's little helpers, I like to be useful. So for anyone seriously thinking of emigrating to the US, here are some more of my personal top tips for surviving life as an ex-pat wife in Southern California.
(1) Alcohol.
Consume lots of it and suddenly things don’t look too bad at all. On the other hand too much and things look a lot worse than they really are. The ideal is to reach the happy medium. Another top tip regarding alcohol – don’t take a teenager on a wine tasting tour of the Napa Valley. We learnt that valuable lesson early on.
Consume lots of it and suddenly things don’t look too bad at all. On the other hand too much and things look a lot worse than they really are. The ideal is to reach the happy medium. Another top tip regarding alcohol – don’t take a teenager on a wine tasting tour of the Napa Valley. We learnt that valuable lesson early on.
(2) Overcome Self Pity.
Definitely not helped by over-indulging in Number 1. Cries of “you don’t understand!” and “it’s alright for you – you go to work, school etc” to the rest of the family will go unheard and will not provoke the reaction you require. This is not because they don’t sympathise, it’s simply because after a while they get fed up of hearing it. Knuckle down and get on with it – you signed up willingly for this so you only have yourself to blame.
Definitely not helped by over-indulging in Number 1. Cries of “you don’t understand!” and “it’s alright for you – you go to work, school etc” to the rest of the family will go unheard and will not provoke the reaction you require. This is not because they don’t sympathise, it’s simply because after a while they get fed up of hearing it. Knuckle down and get on with it – you signed up willingly for this so you only have yourself to blame.
(3) De-sensitise.
Develop a rhinoceros-like thick skin and learn not to take things personally - you will get knocked back and rebuffed especially when it comes to finding your feet and forging new friendships. Toughen up. Even a trip to the local supermarket used to reduce me to tears because I couldn’t find what I wanted on the shelves and I convinced myself the store manager was refusing to stock items to spite me. Now I accept that’s just the way it is – just like I accept the check-out assistant doesn’t really want to be my new BFF.
Develop a rhinoceros-like thick skin and learn not to take things personally - you will get knocked back and rebuffed especially when it comes to finding your feet and forging new friendships. Toughen up. Even a trip to the local supermarket used to reduce me to tears because I couldn’t find what I wanted on the shelves and I convinced myself the store manager was refusing to stock items to spite me. Now I accept that’s just the way it is – just like I accept the check-out assistant doesn’t really want to be my new BFF.
(4) Grab the Opportunities.
Following on from Numbers 2 & 3 once you have developed an inner and outer strength you can cope with anything. Look on the bright side and find all the positives about your new lifestyle and homeland - the chance to explore a new country, experience new things, eat new food, meet new people, create an entirely new personality...
Following on from Numbers 2 & 3 once you have developed an inner and outer strength you can cope with anything. Look on the bright side and find all the positives about your new lifestyle and homeland - the chance to explore a new country, experience new things, eat new food, meet new people, create an entirely new personality...
(5) Don’t give up.
There will be times when it will be very tempting to pack a bag and head for home but resist. Be patient. Any textbook ever written about immigration will stress it takes at least 12 months for a new country to feel like home and this is so true. Culture shock will wear off – you do eventually develop immunity.
There will be times when it will be very tempting to pack a bag and head for home but resist. Be patient. Any textbook ever written about immigration will stress it takes at least 12 months for a new country to feel like home and this is so true. Culture shock will wear off – you do eventually develop immunity.
(6) Keep in touch.
Even though it is important to integrate yourself into your new surroundings, you do need to maintain relationships with the folks back home. Not only will this help to keep you sane but one day you might want to go back and need a place to stay.
Even though it is important to integrate yourself into your new surroundings, you do need to maintain relationships with the folks back home. Not only will this help to keep you sane but one day you might want to go back and need a place to stay.
(7) Play up the good bits.
Ever wanted to be the envy of all your old friends? Now is the golden opportunity – there must be some parts of your new lifestyle you know will make them dead jealous so brag about it. Your friends will then remind you how lucky you are. Eventually you will agree.
Ever wanted to be the envy of all your old friends? Now is the golden opportunity – there must be some parts of your new lifestyle you know will make them dead jealous so brag about it. Your friends will then remind you how lucky you are. Eventually you will agree.
(8) Keep motivated.
It’s very easy to give in to apathy. Even if you aren’t legally entitled to work, which will certainly help with the envy issues in Number 7, you will need to keep yourself occupied. Although like much else in America voluntary work is wrapped in bureaucracy, persevere and you should be able to find something to suit. Failing that, take up a new hobby or master a new skill - becoming an expert at procrastination doesn't count.
It’s very easy to give in to apathy. Even if you aren’t legally entitled to work, which will certainly help with the envy issues in Number 7, you will need to keep yourself occupied. Although like much else in America voluntary work is wrapped in bureaucracy, persevere and you should be able to find something to suit. Failing that, take up a new hobby or master a new skill - becoming an expert at procrastination doesn't count.
(9) Count your blessings.
Are you healthy? Good, because America is not the place to be sick. Maintaining a healthy lifestyle is a financial necessity. Exercise regularly - endorphins are good for you and they're free.
Are you healthy? Good, because America is not the place to be sick. Maintaining a healthy lifestyle is a financial necessity. Exercise regularly - endorphins are good for you and they're free.
(10) Develop a sense of humour.
Even if you didn’t have one before you will need one now. Keep hold of it at all costs.
Even if you didn’t have one before you will need one now. Keep hold of it at all costs.
And if all else fails? Start a blog.
Merry Christmas & Happy New Year
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