Out of Service

Here’s a dilemma.  The AT&T receiver box has just died on us. That means no TV.  

You think I wouldn’t be too bothered, after all I’m no great fan of US TV, but after a while it’s amazing what you get used to. I find myself missing that “comfort TV”, programmes you can dip in and out of whilst doing the ironing, nothing too complex to tax the brain.

Comedy shows like Friends, Scrubs or The Big Bang Theory, which play  on a continuous loop – that’s comfort TV.  Yes I know I’ve seen the episode before, often in the same week, but it’s familiar territory; as is the home channel, HGTV, and the opportunity to nose around other people’s property. Another favourite is the cooking channel.  During the day I can sometimes catch a Nigella Express or a Jamie at Home, although I think Jamie Oliver is now banned in the US after daring to suggest fresh veg should be included in school dinner menus (a crazy idea that made him a hero in the UK but the devil incarnate out here).  Far more likely to find the Queen of Cholesterol, Paula Dean, tossing something into her deep fat fryer  than poor Jamie telling us all how to grow our own greens.

Like putting on a pair of well worn slippers, PBS will inevitably by showing Doc Martin at some point during its schedule, usually followed by behind the scenes with Doc Martin, the making of Doc Martin and our chance to catch it again Doc Martin. PBS is always a treat, despite the overdose of Martin Clunes, because it's commercial free. It is also home to Masterpiece Theatre, currently showing everything ever written by Charles Dickens and produced by the BBC. Dickens you might think, wow that's intellectual! All those sub-plots, a confusing array of characters with tongue-twisting names, all those accents! Never fear, Masterpeice have come up with Dickens for Dummies, each episode is introduced and the plot carefully explained - no concentration skills required.

But it is because of Charles Dickens that I insisted the AT&T box would have to be replaced. Live without TV for a few weeks? No great hardship! But what about Little Dorrit?  Do Amy and Arthur get together in the end? I have become addicted - it's like watching a soap.

A simple phone call to AT&T should do the trick!  Speak to someone, explain the problem and request a replacement receiver, after all we are on a contract. Well speaking to someone was the main hurdle.  When we did finally reach the technical support helpline, it’s sole automated instruction was to unplug the receiver and re-boot it, then to press 1 when the lights started to flash.  Our machine had long died a death - it's lights were never going to flash but failure to flash was not an option.  Surely a technical support line, however automated, should be able to offer more than one piece of advice? Well yes eventually it did, it told us we were taking too much time and should call back later.

We did persist, eventually found a human, and a new box was on its way. A few evenings later I found myself once again flicking aimlessly through an uninspiring selection of 300 + TV channels, the mindless drivel of umpteen shopping channels, OTT talent shows, lightweight local news, Hollywood gossip, trigger happy cops and endless re-runs of Two and a Half Men. As for Little Dorrit, well that appears to have been replaced mid-series by Great Expections.  I knew I should have just gone and bought myself a copy of the book.....