The OC Fair

From the moment we walked through the entrance gate and were offered our free Bible, I sensed our visit to the Orange County Fair was going to be great fun.

A quick look at the fair programme confirmed my suspicions - “Let’s Eat”, the brochure proclaimed depicting a 1950’s toddler stuffing her face with a hearty slice of apple pie.  It was going to be an afternoon of pure Americana.

Forget those prize winning animal shows from yesteryear – a modern day county fair isn’t so much about whose got the smartest pig but how much pig you can eat.

There were plenty of animals on show at the fair, but they were housed in barns in a section entitled From Farm to Fork. No prizes for guessing where they were off to next.

One enterprising young farmer, charging a $1 for the public to view his heavyweight steer, had made a sign helpfully converting the weight of his cow into something your average American could easily understand - burgers.  Yep a 500 lb steer equals 1000 burgers.  I was starting to feel hungry already.

There were over 125 food retail outlets listed in the fair programme, and besides all the regular American fast food favourites, other culinary delights on offer included Deep Fried Butter and Chocolate Covered Bacon.  How about a battered Snickers bar? 

The OC Fair was definitely not the place to be if you need to lower your cholesterol – simply inhaling the deep fat residues vaporizing in the air would probably have piled on a few hundred calories.

I wouldn’t recommend a visit either if you were concerned about animal welfare.  We by-passed a booth inviting us to pay another $1 to see the world’s biggest Clydesdale horse; and the one next door where for another $1 we could view a 13 ft alligator – both exhibits in obviously rather confined quarters.  I was half expecting the next booth to be the bearded lady or the world’s tallest man, but thankfully no, although at the other end of the fair, in scenes that were highly reminiscent of a travelling Victorian circus, we could have paid $10 to ride an elephant.   Despite the notice informing the public that all proceeds would go elephant conservation in Africa, I personally would have liked to conserve the poor old thing that had to trudge around the OC Fair with large groups of Americans swaying on its back.

Eager to escape the smell of 100 smoking turkey legs on the “world’s biggest BBQ” we headed into the exhibition Hall, where all manner of weird and wonderful crafty creations were on display.  If only I had known such opportunities existed, I too could have entered the “Best Page from a Scrapbook” contest.  How inadequate do I now feel storing my photographs in cyber space knowing that I have missed the chance to have my personal memories preserved forever as Best In Show?

Amongst the mounds of woodwork, artwork, photographs, cakes and tapestries, my favourite section was the table setting competition.  If like me you think a well laid table consists of matching cutlery and an unchipped wine glass think again – if you really want to impress your guests then this was definitely the place to come and be inspired. 

We decided against joining the line for the twenty minute tooth whitening extravaganza or staying late to watch the Alaskan pig race (I wonder what fate awaits the poor creature who finishes in last place?) The teenagers had had enough of being tossed and turned around at high speed on extreme carnival rides so our day at the OC Fair was done.  Despite all that food on offer I was still feeling peckish and was delighted to find a stall by the exit gate selling slices of fruit.

Deep fried of course.